.boarding [i'll] pass

1:42pm [tuesday]

sitting at gate c7.
at gate c7 with my A. Hamilton chic swagga going on [lol]
about an hour and some change until my flight departs

I'm a little mad that i left so early,
i couldve spent an extra hour cleaning my room.
Looks like '08 will be off to a semi-clean start.

the smell of fast food dances with my nose
im not deathly hungry...but my hunger sure is growing
with nothing but $1.95 in nickles and dimes to my name

i sit



flight 246
Gate c7
zone 7
depart time 3:04pm

.and then there were three

the clock says 8:37pm, its a Tuesday
it feels mor like 3:30am on a Sunday

I wake up drowning in a pool of what else, clothes
time is breathing down my neck.
my flight is in less than 24hours and my room still isint clean,
my stomach is touching my back [im hungry], and i still havent packed.
All I have gotten accomplished today is moving my bed around,
washing clothes, and finding something to wear that matches the Anthony Hamilton style ive been roqk.ing over the last few days.

[priorities priorities priorities]
-Airport Tomorrow-

Fast Foward to 11:01pm (tonight) sitting in the room
talking with Jeremy,

So, what've you got done now?

"well..." i hesitate

talked with kendellee, texted kelly and destiny, watched clash of the choirs [shout out to Pattie Pattie], did some reading and I still haven't packed.

Starting to question if i really want to make this trip.

Getting on the twelve shuttle,
to get to the three o clock plane,
to reach down at five something.
Life of a jet setter can be exhausting

.i got the golden ticket

its december 7teenth and im spent [already].
so much of my energy for the last few days has gone into trying to get back to a city that im not to found of right now, especially in this not so pleasent winter season.

heading to the airport Wednesday. so long altanta.
it's like six degrees here, but if im complaining about this
what will fli city be like?
Dxmn you winter; you bring boots handbags coats and hats
but you take away the warmth necessary to enjoy the look fully.
oh well.
guess ill just have to wrap up a lil tighter this holiday
if i still rememeber how. [after all this time...lol]
i know the snow is there but somehow it's still going to be a shock.


looking foward to taking that walk down memory lane.
partying it up with the best of the...well with old friends
"you ready Karen" lqtm
seeing my innocent neice again after all this time.
and some good ol fashion home cookin...lol

Wednesday...

.Strangr A.

theartofstrange.blogspot.com

.this man

This man i know is growing weary, of having to be strong.
of having to pretend he's made of stone, of having to make believe he's not alone.
of pretending that there's someone when he comes home... alas there's no one there to listen, not one person there to heal his wounds when he's hurt, as he has done for so many before. No one there to say the important things that he already knows but would like to hear every now and then.
you see fear is not the issue,
because he'd much rather let someone in,
open his heart and let down his guard...
needing someone to stop him from singing his solider song

There is a man who loves the dark.
Once The Sunsets Over The World, The Night Begins.
The Dark Describes His Personality. Mysterious, Yet Calm
The Night Is Cool, Calming and Romantic.
The Night Is Personal and Intimate.
He Thinks Better At Night Because While Everyone Is Asleep, So Is Chaos And Mayhem.
The Night Is Beautiful And Sexy.
Bright Stars Dance Against The Black Backlit Sky.
The Moon Smiles Upon The Ocean Casting A Cool, Calming Glow Abroad.
The Night Makes You Wanna Hold Someone That You Love.
Kiss Someone That You Love.
Make Love To The One You Love.
The Night Is The Perfect Cure To The Busy Day.
Just Sit Back, Relax And Enjoy.
Life Moves To Fast. Sometimes Its Good To Sit Back And Reflect.
Just You And The Night.

So he does...

.giving me an earful

You say you're looking for a real ass nigga.
You say you're a real ass shorty looking for a nigga that you can fall in love with. A nigga you can sit at home and cake it wit. A nigga who aint just after the ass, aint after it but when he does get it, he knows what hes doing.
You say you're looking for ambitious niggas thats got something going for themselves and like Shareefa say.......You Need A Boss.
You tell me "do be warned......I only want real niggas only, and no p*ssy niggas...... cause you can be replaced"
You say that's just your style, you tell me not to get it twisted and think for a second that you're going to settel for less...

I tell you I'm not a nigga.
I tell you to stop looking for Love
I open my home to you, I can cake it with the best of em'
I explain to you im not just after the ass and assure to when that time comes I know what I'm doing.
I show you my talents and share with you my ambitions and dreams and like John Legend says....."I will stay with you as each morning brings sunrise"
I tell you yet again, "I AM NOT a nigga real or otherwise, I have no false pride when it comes to my appearance; and that little thought you hade about possibly replacing me: you be warned THAT is NEVER easy"
I see you and your style I see we compliment each other, and hear me loud and clear, when this starts going neither of us will be settling for less...

.iRemember

With the drop of the last teardrop I now understood how I could loose the one lost.

Forced to experience disappointment at an early age, I silently vowed to never allow myself to feel that love-stricken insanity ever again. This pledge to myself would stand true untill those tears that were held back all that time ago were released once more.
In all that time I never came close to another. I was unable to, for my tears became my Scarlet Letter.The letter that I seemed to always wear that would always remind me of the pain. It would seem that I was unable to heal.



I'd forgotton about my pledge and once again fallen into my own lustful infatuation but this time it was real and unharming. This feeling welcomed me wiht open arms and to this day I welcome Love in it's most complex forms, for it is said that:

it's better to have Loved and lost then to never have Loved at all...

.recipe for success

...First of all.

get rid of caring about ANYone but you for a minute. Your friends, parent, family, job all that [just for a minute] Then you look at YOU and YOUR LIFE and what will MAKE YOU HAPPY. When you figure out a few things that you want to make you happy [you dont have to know ALL of it right away] then you put everyone BACK into the equation. See how to obtain your goals and concentrate on that. Dont focus on everyone els you have to do whats right for you. Now you should take your parents into consideration but dont let them take you over. You're a man/woman now, your able to decide what it is that you want. but still be reasonable. All in all focus on your happiness. if you have to cut some people out to get it then so be it.
IF your friends cant accept that you're trying to better yourself you dont need them ANYways...



As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt.
Because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

.glamor and glitter, fashion and fame

i heart photography cha...YAH!




Models:
Leon
Chas
Ken

.call me

au•ton•o•mous




Pronunciation: (ô-ton'u-mus), [key]
—adj.
1. Govt.
a. self-governing; independent; subject to its own laws only.
b. pertaining to an autonomy.
2. having autonomy; not subject to control from outside; independent: a subsidiary that functioned as an autonomous unit.
3. Biol.
a. existing and functioning as an independent organism.
b. spontaneous

.i sit, i reflect, i write

I love to sit around an do nothing.

although shortly after i sit i feel like i'm wasting time, so i get up and do something.

although i find i can sit still and listen to music. i love to draw.

i love my friends. love them as much or a little more than my [biological] family,

(or maybe I just love them LIKE they were my biological family-in any case)

i [kinda] think that's a little wrong of me but hey.

love to write about my days and little things that happen around me,

people watching (i LOVE to people watch=]) I can appreciate the beauty in darn near ANYone

i also love the south, maybe it's because i'm from there who knows.

: If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible

i'm a little crazy if given the opportunity to go crazy.

i tend to go too far sometimes but so is life. (a little crazy that is)

who am i: Fashion addict, Glamor Whore, an all around kool guy, fashion student residing in the wonderful Technicolor Dreamland that is my imagination. fl! city is where i'm from. the Haute Atlanta is where I am until further notice...

.once upon a time

I Love the man I used to be....
...Every step he took was leading up to the man I am today.

Im here,

Whats up with this preference and these feelings? Im sure its the question many would like to ask but... Why? Why would you like to know the answer? Is knowing my take on my own life going to somehow improve the quality of your own? I mean I can make excuses for how I feel. I cant take back what ive done.
Funny thing, everyone like to feel that they are in control of their own lives, and when we feel out of control we do whatever it takes to regain it; or even a false sense of it. Some people cut themselves to regain control, others vomit, some even abuse others.
I cant say for sure but I guess these feelings in the beginning were my way of having control, regaining control. But in the end I have found, if not all of myself, a good portion of what I like. I mean im still learning about myself but who isint? Im 21 sure I might know what my favorite color or movie is but im still evolving. The man I am today is different from the man I was yesterday and different from the man I will be tomorrow.
These feelings are something that I own. They are a part of me. They do not define me. They are mearly a piece of what makes up the man you're reading before you. I am capable of Love on many levels.
Where's that perfect world where there's no violence and stress and strife. I know now that that world is nonexistant. It never existed. Innocence is reserved the unwilling and helpless. I own my distinctive emotions and attractions that the world cant seem to comprehend. Having to watch what I say and do, im always on call. Many different roles I am called to play but no one seems to appreciate them.
Sometime it get hard, but in the face of everything you have to press on. No one can ever see you naked. My eyes are glossed over with the hatred of the world. The images I have seen, the things I have heard, the horrific thoughts that plague me everyday. No one knows my pain, nor would I want them to.
With all this weighing heavily on my mind and body 24 hours a day, 365 days a year it's a suprise I havent went completly crazy but in order to go crazy I would have to have a complete loss of control, everyone likes to feel that they are in control of their own lives, and when we feel out of control we do whatever it takes to regain it.

Im still here...

.i am creole

deriving from the Latin creare, meaning
"to beget" or "create."
After the New World's [unrealistic] discovery,
Portuguese colonist used the word
crioulo
to denote a New World slave of African descent.

.ai is my hobby

fashion and retail management. African [american] studies and the effects of material perishables on the African [american] psyche. Concentration being on the youth; touching on the haves and the have nots.